Hailing from a long line of Pennsylvania Dutch farmers and perhaps an Irish king, I currently reside in Kitchener, Canada with my man and my dog. I love backcountry excursions and exploring new cities; discovering new musical talent and putting Misdemeanor on repeat; a healthy lifestyle and cookies from local cafes. By early morning, I am resistance training. By day, I am a buyer and marketing manager for an independent eyewear boutique. By night, I am sleeping.
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Shit my pants because I was having too much fun playing with Rodney to go inside and use the washroom.
Developed my first girl crush on Tina.
Graduated Grand River Collegiate Institute as “who’s most likely to dance on Electric Circus.”
Came out of the closet.
Experienced my first penis (other than my own).
Escaped South Korea with the help of my Korean Mafia Family.
Strangled by Jenn’s deranged husband, thus no longer friends with Jenn.
Met my ultimate friend, lover and partner, Troy, who inspired me to enjoy the simple things in life, be responsible, be healthy, be strong; he has stoked my creativity and encouraged me to share my stories.
Much to the dismay of one nasty bitch, met Nicole who is the yin to my yang and my sounding board; together we developed a symbiotic creative relationship.
Met Maressa, who thought I was bougie, but she said, okay maybe, and has since inspired me to think in different ways and to engage in passionate, friendly discourse.
Escaped my mother’s vagina.
Developed my first boy crush on a camp counsellor.
Much to the dismay of the jock population, became best friends with Sarah who inspired me to write and have perverted conversations.
Said goodbye to religion.
Met Jenn in a small dirty pub in Seoul who inspired me to be crazy and not give a shit about what other people think.
Published my first book of poetry.
Met Laurie who inspired me to let go of the things I was holding onto and pick up new things.
Saw Beyoncé with Mom.
Started writing Fun with Dick.
Stranded on an island with Troy.
Rescued Kindlebird Feathertoes.
Troy designed this website so I could share all of my writing with you.